I've been busy!

We're back from San Francisco and I was just looking through my list of 101 things to do in 1001 days and realized something...there are a handful of things that I've done (embarrass myself at a karaoke bar) that I have yet to write blog posts for. So although this week will be hectic with my first days at school - I will slowly start pumping out some stories that are sure to give you a few laughs.

Some snippets

Earning my munchies

San Francisco is just great - this afternoon I power walked up a hill and ate a Krispy Kreme donut at the same time. Sure, I'm stuffing my face with a pastry smothered in icing and sprinkles, but by the time I reach the top of the hill, it's like it never happened! We've been getting a fair bit of exercise but we've been matching those calories burned with some serious gorging on cheese, creamy sauces, drinks and ice cream. We biked from Fisherman's Wharf across the Golden Gate Bridge and into Sausalito for an indulgent lunch this afternoon. (Have you ever put pine nuts on pizza before? Because I highly recommend it.) The path on the bridge is pretty wide, but not when you stuff a hundred million tourists in there, half of them on bikes, half of them lacking the sense to NOT WALK IN FRONT OF THE BIKERS! Our bikes had bells and at one point Luc had to say to me, "OK...that's enough, no more bell, you don't have to ring your bell at EVERY SINGLE PEDESTRIAN!" But I did...and besides, I was bored with ringing my bell at the seagulls.

After returning our bikes, we walked back to our hotel...which, I might say, is more of a hike. Since we're staying at the top of Nob Hill, everywhere we want to go is significantly downhill, and of course, returning is more than a chore...it's a butt-burning, sweat-inducing, thigh-wobbling work out. I hadn't even thought to pack my running shoes for everyday use - I packed them like I do for all my trips because I always delude myself with ideas of working out in the hotel gym each morning. No matter the reason, I'm glad I've got them! Now if you'll excuse me, we just walked a few blocks to the store and back so I've got a bag of chips to eat.

Thoughts

The illegal shower heads from that episode of Seinfeld (the ones used to hose down circus elephants)...those are the same ones in the hotel rooms here.

An evening at the theatre!

Luc and I made a deal a while back: if we ever won the lottery, the first thing I would get to do is fly to New York to see the musical "Wicked"...and now I'll have to think of a new "first thing to do with our millions" because we're going to see "Wicked" tomorrow evening here in San Francisco!!!

After San Francisco I’ll be going straight to hell

I’m writing this on a flight from YVR to SFO, but I’ll surely be headed straight to HELL some time soon. While walking through the airport this morning I was watching an elderly gentleman glide along the moving sidewalk. It was almost like he didn’t realize that he had gotten on the moving sidewalk, because all the while he was glancing around with a very distressed look on his face. Glancing to his right, glancing to his left, glancing behind him…..turning around completely looking as though he was lost. Getting closer to the end of the moving sidewalk, still standing backwards, getting closer still, and still standing backwards…I wanted to yell out to him, “DUUUUUDE!!! TURN AROUND!!!!!" but I stood there, watching this awkward ballet unfold at the end of the moving sidewalk. You can guess what happened next.

The old guy is riding the moving sidewalk backwards, he’s about 1 second from the end, a slightly staggered stance so that one heel catches first and one leg shoots out in front of him, the other heel didn’t even have a chance to hit the end of the moving sidewalk, as soon as the first one hit, the second one was up in the air. Arms flailing, bags falling, one big old man stumbling to get back on his feet as the sidewalk keeps rolling along. With each attempt is another failure to regain his balance. The best method would have been to army roll right off and stand up on solid ground, but he was half on the sidewalk, half on solid ground and struggling like a champ. He made it to his feet (eventually) and as I walked on, I realized that I had a smile on my face...and I was laughing. I feel bad, but it was something you would have seen on America's Funniest Home Videos...and if America laughs at old men falling off the moving sidewalk, then so can I!

When I really felt bad though, is when an old lady fell at the end, much like the old man had done. Her old lady friend tried to help her up but fell (only partially) in the process, and then another old lady fell on top of that one....it was a pile up of grannies, and you bet your ass I was giggling. Hence, my impending trip to hell. 

Monthly Photo - September 2009

Wedding hands - my newly married girlfriend and her husband.

Crisis averted

One sleepless night, several stressed out tears and $157 later, I have my passport and I'm packing my bags for San Francisco. Thank you for the comments and the e-mails...I am SO happy that this was resolved in time for the trip. The woman at the passport office this morning was very reassuring, saying that as long as they could speak with my two references, everything would be fine and ready to pick up at 3:00pm. She even said "noooo, don't be silly," when I told her how dumb I felt. I resisted crawling over the counter to give her a bear hug, as I thought it might make me seem crazy, and they don't give passports to crazy.

I called my friends after leaving the passport office to inform them that they should be expecting a call soon to verify my identity. I even sent an email the night before to two of them, politely requesting that they do not mention that streaking incident...turns out they don't ask those kinds of questions. One of my friends really got grilled though - she called me afterward to tell me all the details and their million in-depth questions, and my response: "You bitch, you told them I weigh 10 lbs more than I really do??!!" In all seriousness though, I am very grateful to have friends that didn't mind me calling them in a panic at 8:00am due to my own lack of preparedness.

I am also grateful to the London Drugs photo counter lady who made me take a second passport photo due to the shiny grease spot on my forehead in the first one. Not only would the photo have been denied by the passport office, it was also one of the most unattractive pictures I've ever seen of myself. However, the second one looked exactly like the first but with a big powder spot in place of the grease spot...as long as it's not shiny, I guess they don't care? Speaking of which, why does it matter if you're shiny? "Nope....shiny face, clearly a robot in disguise trying to enter the USA and bring down the government from the inside with their super robot powers." Well, look out San Fran because here we come - my greasy robot forehead and I are on our way!