Bad teenage mustaches are only the beginning

Because I'm in a crotchety mood, and because I haven't posted in a week, I'm going to share with you a few of the things that really grated my nerves today. Don't get me wrong, they always make me cringe, but today more than usual.

Bad Teenage Mustaches

The irony of the bad teenage mustache is that these guys are always deemed "cool" because of their mustache. The only thing that would make me feel slightly less repulsed by the bad teenage mustache, is that when in their 20's and onwards, these men look bad and feel remorse for having made the public regard their prepubescent upper lip hairs on a daily basis.

Mixing the oil into a new jar of natural peanut butter

You would think they would leave a couple inches of oil-spill room. Hasn't anyone written to the peanut butter companies about this? I'm going to be that person. I've had enough.

Elevator "close door" buttons

I'm not sure I've ever encountered an elevator "close door" button that actually works. It's not that I'm in a rush, it's just that if you're going to put a button there, make it work!

Add it to the list, right after mannequins

I got some great advice from Luc, which he got from his mom, which she gleaned from Luc's sister who was planning her wedding last year. Did you follow that? No? It's ok, this is the important part: Don't read too many bridal magazines, it gets depressing. The same goes for (certain) wedding websites and blogs. I hate to pick on Style Me Pretty (because I read it EVERY day), but they're a great example of how brides are led to set fantastical expectations for their big day. I always have to remind myself that someone designed these weddings, or there was at least a wedding coordinator to lean on. A company, whose job it is to buy pretty things and decorate a room or area is dedicated to conveying a theme and usually has a large sum of money thrown at them to do so. They're always lovely, but if you're not hiring someone to do this for you, chances are you'll make yourself crazy trying to achieve it on your own.

The photos on these sites and in the magazines are out of this world beautiful and, for the most part, out of reach. I don't actually get too bothered by it though- I think our wedding is going to be amazing and very "us", and I love drawing inspiration from these sites and mags. However, it's the photographic treatment that feels a bit contrived. It feels like design showcase (rather than a wedding) where someone has been hired to "style" a room and the photographer takes "artsy" photos that are, arguably, unrelated to the wedding. A few examples:
-a vintage fan
-a stack of books
-old suitcases
-a typewriter
I understand that these are all contributors to the atmosphere, but when they're featured (alone) in photographs, it bothers me. Yup, just another weird thing that bothers me.

This is reality?

While watching Survivor a few days ago (on TV at the gym, so technically I had no choice), I noted to myself how much it has changed over the years. I recall watching it in high school, but I don't remember such gratuitous displays of sexuality like greasing up half-dressed people and getting them to push themselves along a lubed up slip'n'slide. This was a 'challenge'. Yes, they had to throw a ball in a bucket at the end of the slippery track, but the real feat was for the viewer, squinting at the screen and hoping the pin-thin women didn't snap any of their twiggy limbs in the process. This made me wonder: how many days (weeks, more like) have they been there for? These poor women look starved to death. It was day 9.

What I'm really wondering, though, is if the show was always like this? Maybe as a naive teenager I didn't notice the inappropriate body images and blatantly obvious innuendos (oxymoron?) being pandered to me every week. It's OK though, because now I only watch quality television like One Tree Hill.

Derelicte

I have an objection with people who dress like slobs and carry designer handbags. I’m not a fashionista, and I don't live by a stringent set of couture codes, but I do think a Chanel purse coupled with a pair of inside-out, frayed sweatpants makes you look like a FOOL. Knowing that this getup is the outfit-equivalent of putting ketchup on a filet isn’t some kind of clandestine knowledge. I wouldn’t even call it a rule – just common sense. For instance, I know that if I’m wearing a gown, I’m probably not going to pair it with an old hoodie. Just like I wouldn’t wear a pearl necklace to the gym. Everyday sensibility. So the next time you see some crazy girl walloping a hobo over the head with a Louis Vuitton clutch, it’s just me trying to smack some sense into another lost soul.

Makes me cringe

Someone who e-mailed to ask if I "kould" do something for them...that's not even a slip of the finger, the "c" and the "k" live on opposite sides of the keyboard!!!

Makes me cringe

People talking about how playoff hockey is “just so completely different.” Like the players are going to step on the ice only to realize that their sticks have been replaced with lead pipes, the ice has been melted into a swimming pool and the last one alive is the winner.