Friday, June 12, 2009

Judging books by their covers

Following a promotion at work, Luc's start time was bumped back to 7:30am - congrats, we're rewarding you with less sleep! I've been foregoing an extra hour of sleep each morning to go early with Luc and avoid taking the bus later. With my new hour to kill, I've found a fun game to play. After grabbing a drink, I claim a cozy spot at the local coffee shop from which I observe the line of caffeine addicts that snakes out the door and into the street. This is a form of people watching that I like to call,"Who's an a-hole?" By watching people's behaviour in line, I like to guess what kind of people they are.

There are a few criteria, we'll call them the "first impression list", that are usually reliable indicators of whether someone will hold an elevator door for you or run you over in their Bentley without blinking. Clothes: men with something in the breast pocket of their suit jacket are more likely to talk down to you or throw their Blackberry at a waiter in a fit of rage. Cellphone: people carrying a Blackberry (and you always know because they have it out and they're constantly holding it about 2mm from their face) are generally less friendly than those without a visible cellphone or those simply texting. Hair: the less hair, the meaner the person. Men and women included.

People who are constantly glancing around are always going to try and chat with the cashier or the person next to them in line. They're nice and they're lonely...but they're boring, and they're only going to talk about the weather or the new pills they have to give their dog because he has heart worms again. But he won't eat the pills so you have to put them inside a piece of cheese, and the other day he ate the cheese and spit out the pill. Yeah...that's their idea of a hilarious story.

I've also learned that women check out other women 100% more than they check out men. It is also important to note that the amount a woman will stare at other women dramatically increases with the amount of makeup she is wearing and the more "work" she has had done.

Please keep in mind these are my sleepy observations and in no way meant to offend bald guys wearing suits with handkerchiefs in the breast pocket and a blackberry in hand. Picture that that guy an a-hole?


  1. Thanks for the laugh on this beautiful day as I stare longingly out my office window.

    Phewf, lucky Mike doesn't even own a suit, or he'd be that angry bald man. Although, I don't think he'd know what to do with a CrackBerry... so maybe he's off the hook.

  2. Some bald men have that wonderful, inexplicable, jovial quality...Mike's totally one of those guys ;) Glad I could give you a laugh!


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