Monday, June 15, 2009

She eats her peas one at a time!

Many women know the phrase "he's just not that into you" from Sex and the City, others know it from the book, and pretty much everyone knows it now from the movie. Last night Luc and I watched the movie (his suggestion, I just wanted to clarify that) and he was bewildered by the conversations between the women. The over-analyzing of every move men make, the staring at the phone ("What?? Do girls actually DO that? Literally sit and STARE at the phone?") and waiting for it to ring, the interpreting of total bullshit "signs"....and I had to tell him, yeah, it's pretty accurate!

I am so incredibly ashamed to admit that I have stared at my cellphone, willing it to ring in the hopes that the total douche bag of a jerk I was dating at the time would be on the other line. I've been involved in hour-long conversations dissecting the reasons that a guy hasn't called yet; a full hour dedicated to how he's probably busy and doesn't want to call because he wants to wait until he has something to say and if he calls now, well, guys don't just call to "chat" and he's totally not going to call until he has time to go out again, which he obviously wants, because he sent a smiley face text after the last date and he wouldn't do that unless he was interested. I analyzed good dates, I analyzed bad dates, I analyzed my friends' dates....and anyone who says they haven't done this before is a liar!

Reflecting on these times also reminded me of other dating eccentricities that I'm equally ashamed to admit: I broke up with people for the weirdest reasons. I once stopped calling a guy because of the corny voicemail he left - a voicemail so hilarious that it is now legendary within a small group of friends. It was a great date, but that voicemail...I couldn't look at him the same way now knowing what he was capable of. On a date once, the guy fell while we were rollerblading - he never heard from me again. I once broke up with someone because his car smelled like cheese. I think growing up watching Seinfeld led me to believe that these were legitimate reasons. Man hands? I would have dumped her ass too!

In the end, these bizarre excuses are just because we know we're not "into" this person and we're just looking for a way out. If anyone out there would like to share (you don't even have to write your real name!), I would LOVE to hear some of the reasons you dumped a girlfriend/boyfriend. The crazier, the better!


  1. I broke up with someone because he didn't like pizza.

  2. I broke up with my first boyfriend EVER because he had prickly arm hair and when we walked down the halls holding hands ('cause what else do you do in grade 7?) it annoyed me.

  3. I broke up with a girl because she insisted on touching me with her freezing cold, Antarctic hands. She thought it was cute... I respectfully disagreed.
    Since she objected to me microwaving her hands, we had to go our separate ways


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