Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Taking it in the nose

This afternoon I fell asleep while waiting at the doctor's office. Luckily, this was in the doctor's actual office, and not in the waiting room. I would have been a divine vision for the other sickies; mouth agape, legs twitching wildly not unlike a dog running in his sleep. It was one of those half-sleeps where you're not completely out, and therefore is not satisfying and in no way leaves you refreshed.

After listing a Bible's length of symptoms (yes, fatigue was one of them), I left with a bevy of prescriptions, one of them being a nasal spray. Nasal spray always arouses distinct memories in me-- specifically, one evening in the bathroom at our old apartment, struggling in silence with my new nasal spray. The look on my face could be described as nothing other than constipated frustration. I nearly had to wrestle myself to the ground while trying to muster the courage to spray that crap up my own nasal passage. I was in a state of such quiet focus, that I barely heard the "unnhh" from next door. But I heard it...and I listened hard for another. Unfortunately, I could only hear passing cars and no other discernible sex noises. Just as I was about to continue my battle with the nasal spray, I heard it: SMACK!! After years of hand slapping and ass slapping (in volleyball...obviously), I know the sound of a hand to bare flesh when I hear it - and this smack was not cushioned even by so much as a thin leotard. This was skin on skin. I practically fell over myself running to find Luc to drag him back into the bathroom so that we could listen to the neighbours having sex.

I'm not particularly proud of what we did that night (or the other nights when the ass slapping and "unnh" noises were so loud we could hear them over the tap running and our toothbrushes scrubbing)....however, Luc and I have been known to shout "BOO-YAH" and slap high-five in a game of "Never ever have I ever" when someone says "never ever have I ever listened to someone else having sex." So this is why I smirked at the sight of "nasal spray" on my sheet of prescriptions. I can't so much as look at a container of nasal spray without slapping noises echoing out of my ears. It really is a shame we moved though; the only noise we can hear in our new apartment's bathroom is the faint tinkling through the vent of the guy next door taking a pee.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Thanks for dropping by!